I panicked but instead of pushing away, I unconsciously detached “physical me” from “emotional me” and “spiritual me”.
Internally I was screaming RUN, but externally my body would not listen.
It had other plans.
Other needs, perhaps?
Regardless, the connection had been severed.
I felt shame, weak, and vulnerable.
And then the anger came.
It didn’t appear as a flash of lightning, but more of a gradual glow, that one day yielded an “a-ha!”
My lack of trust and fear of opening up had left me stifled when it came to intimate relationships. What I wanted was not what I…
We moved into our townhouse five years ago. After seeing and closing on a property in a matter of weeks, and jumping through hoops to ensure the purchase happened, it was now ours.
Thankfully moving day was not a foreshadowing or indicative of our experiences to come. If you are familiar with the West Coast, you understand what a rainy day can look like.
Moving is not fun on the best of days, but moving in the rain can be worse, much worse. And depending on how well you packed, can also get messy. …
We like to predict the future.
After all, we are a species that thrives on certainty, yet we live in a world where change is the only constant.
Many of us are parenting through unprecedented times, and as the rate of change increases, it is nearly impossible for anyone to fully comprehend what the future will look like.
So how do I guide my son and help him navigate the future when I have no idea what his future will look like?
Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube did not even exist when I was younger, yet now they are a primary…
’Twas the night before DWD and my stomach was turning,
Uncertain what to expect, but anticipating many learnings.
It was a dream to attend that came out of the blue,
I was extremely grateful to see what we’d do.
The first day was amazing with values and beliefs,
15 hours passed quickly to my great relief.
Turns out my problems were just meaning’s I gave,
In order to change course, I needed to be brave.
We DANCED! learned the triad and 6 human needs,
Tony laid the groundwork and planted the seeds.
The path of meaning was quite a trip,
And Working From Home.
I reiterated this mantra multiple times a day during the first few weeks of homeschooling. It often followed a heated discussion, baked in frustration, and sometimes ending in tears.
“You are the worst Mommy in the world.”
Over the last couple of months, I have heard that phrase more than I care to admit. There are still days I question my ability to homeschool and my son’s ability to learn anything from me.
Can I teach my son?
Is homeschooling healthy for my son and me?
Will homeschooling harm our relationship?
Can I effectively work from…
Is it possible we are not that different after all?
I am that one.
You know the one.
The one who simply can’t accept the status quo.
The one who asks too many questions.
The one who digs until she understands the who, what, when, where, why, and how.
The one who is often swimming upstream in the amazon river.
As I read his message, a nauseous feeling emerges in the pit of my stomach.
His vulgarities evoke anger. His accusations are hurtful.
I reread the last line.
“You are a selfish, ignorant bit** who should shut the f*** up!”
“Mommy — you better come quick!”
Those words are enough to make any parent’s heart race and mine was no different.
I raced up the stairs — sprinting two at a time. When I walked into the bathroom, I was pleasantly surprised.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“The water won’t shut off.”
I looked at him perplexed while watching the water gush out of the shower faucet. Surely this was a user error.
Will today be the day?
I begin to feel the daily rhythm settle in what some refer to as ‘normal life’.
The calm before the storm.
A glimpse into the future as I desperately grasp to the past. I do not want to let go and fall into the abyss.
Routine. Monotony. The plug pulled on adventure, novelty, and freedom.
Like every other time, I struggle to hang on.
I pretend not to notice and instead play into the narrative.
What was once enjoyable, begins to feel uninspiring and what emerges is a mix of annoying habits, tedious tasks, and…
It’s been 22 days since I started #75Hard. #75Hard is a program created by Andy Frisella as a way to develop confidence, grit, and belief in oneself.
The last 22 days have tested me. At times it was hard to see the forest from the trees because I was hyper-focused on the pain and pain in…
I walk down the eerily quiet street. At this hour on a typical day, the streets are busy with people bustling to work and ushering kids to school.
The programmed chatter running on autopilot as if controlled by an outside force, steering people from one destination to the next.
Thinking. Reminding. Critiquing. Noting.
A rare moment of solitude, quiet or stillness.
Seldom a moment of reprieve.
Nature will no longer sit quietly on the sidelines or provide reminders that we are not in harmony. It has tried, but we are not listening.
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